Dear Customer

I've been working in the automotive industry a long time now, and there is one letter I wish could write and send out to some of my customers.

Dear customer:

I did not build your car. I didn't paint it nor have anything to do with the paint process. I didn't assemble your power steering (or any other) system and am not exactly sure why they didn't "build them better". I have no effect on your fuel mileage. You driving like an asshole doing 160+ down the highway and not maintaining your vehicle probably has something to do with it. I don't have a crystal ball that tells me what is wrong with your vehicle. We also do not have a magic computer that can be plugged in to do the same thing. Contrary to what you believe, the engine problems you are having now have nothing to do with the wiper blades that we replaced 30,000 km ago. We are not legally able to diagnose a small vibration at 140 km/h. When you call and just say 'is my car done yet' without saying who you are, I may not know who you are - because believe it or not we work on more than 1 vehicle per day. Also contrary to what you may believe, we are not a non-profit organization. We are not a delivery/taxi service, although these may be things we provide as a perk. We are not a 1-800 number that you can phone for advice or step by step instructions on how to fix a vehicle yourself. We cannot diagnose things over the phone. We do not stock every part ever made for every Dodge. We do not actually ship the parts to our dealership....we just order them. We do book appointments and can't fit you in with zero notice and no appointment. When you hit a deer or a ditch or take a rock chip off your windshield, that is covered by insurance - not warranty. Warranty covers manufacturer defects. 99% of your questions are in the owners manual. When it's 35 below outside, your car may not start if it isn't plugged in. Also, when it's 35 below, you may have new squeaks and rattles - these will likely go away when it warms up. When there is a strong side wind on the highway, that is the cause of your car pulling - you likely do not need a wheel alignment. You know how you come in for service, and you get pissed off because it's taking too long if we fit someone else in for emergency repair? It's funny how your reaction is different the next day when you are the one needing the emergency repair and you want to be pumped in front of other appointments. We are not responsible for all of the other problems in your life that come spilling out when your car breaks down. Your driving habits likely caused whatever it is piled on your vehicle.

I'm sure there are 1,000 more things I could write, but I can't remember them all right now. The bottom line is that customers pay our wages - with no customers, we wouldn't have work. But it is funny how unreasonable people can get which is why I posted some of these observations from above.