King Bond's Verdict (Volume 1, Episode 3)

Now, King Bond has been opening up his mail box to a few questions about hangovers and remedies. Here is a question by Mike from none other than the city of champions, Edmonton.

Q. Dude, I have a killer hangover, how do i cure it?

A. Well, Well, my delinquent young college juvenile. Partying too much in the dorms doing hooter shooters off of big breasted females are we? King Bond has had 103 years of titty shooters and dont that give me the needed experience of telling you the CURE? DAMN RIGHT it does. The enemy is Dehydration.

In my early years, back sniffin panties from strippers at ol' frat parties I learned that a glass of water and 2 advils before i went to bed seemed like the cure. Then, the days came where there were hangover pills and i learned from my vast knowledge that they were just nothing more than Vitamin B12 with added vitamin C. These all work to an extent. Of course there is always oysters and fish oil that also enhance the back-to-sobriety we all seek after a mind blowing bender.

But the real answer of this question came to me back on Black Tuesday October 29, 1929. I was dating a young phillie from Indiana. She was nailin' me cause i was makin' the big bones bein a lawman. I had recently lost a shitload of money off the stockmarket and i decided to get crunked up knowing full well it was Sunday and i had a big court case against none other than Al "Scarface" Capone Monday morning 10 a.m. sharp. So screw it. Centurion time with my boys to get the party rollin, strip club to get horned up for the regular club to get horned up for my old lady.

KING BONDS VERDICT

The Cure. Phfff. harder question. Sex and hair of the dog.

I humped my dirty cheatin' whore of a girlfriend all night and didn't sleep. So in the morning i reached for a fifth of my friend Jimmy beam, beer and clam, and busted the most notorious gang boss for tax evasion sentencing him to 11 years in prison and an 80,000 fine. Not bad on a hangover.

This is the Verdict cause King Bond said so.

GIVE ME THE INGREDIENTS AND I'LL MAKE THE CAKE