King Bond's Verdict (Volume 1, Episode 2)

Q. Who is going to win Super Bowl XLIII?

A. It is quite simple my superficial old facist. First of all we will review key Stats (click on the box to enlarge:



The Game As viewed Through me, King Bond:

Both teams will try to establish the run early, contrary to popular belief. Only Arizona will though, with James leading the charge. For most of the first half the Cardinals will be attempting to get the ball to Fitzgerald, with little success. This leads to Boldin having a huge first half. The Steelers, on the other hand, have an unexpected dismal first half. Roethlisberger, typically holding on to the ball as long as possible allowing routes to develop, absolutely gets nailed with those helmet-under-the-chin hits twice. Ward meanwhile is still hampered by his recent knee injury and basically just sucks balls.

The second half holds well for the Steelers. Their defence clamps down and Santonio Holmes makes some big plays. Warner is pressured more in the pocket and throws a few interceptions which greatly affects the game. The Steelers get a few field goals.

Then a freak set of circumstances occur. Fireman Ed (Budweiser commercial), gains sideline access passes by the hotshots at Budweiser. During the last couple minutes of the 4th quarter this crazed fan rips off his Budweiser jersey to reveal his Bruce Harper Jets Jersey and tries to do his J-E-T-S chant. The weird thing about this is that Troy Polamalu had a bet with Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka that if Fireman Ed did the J-E-T-S chant at the superbowl he would shave his head. So, being the devoted Samoan christian he is Fast Willie Parker starts shaving his head.

So Back on the field, 1 minute left, I see Kurt Warner desperately going long to Fitzgerald. Polamalu easily slides over and covers this pass.

KING BONDS VERDICT

No problem old fool. 24 - 20 Arizona Cardinals win the Bowl.

This conclusion is based on detailed scientific research. Dogs have amazing hearing and detect sounds as low as 16 - 20 Hz frequency range compared to 20 - 70 Hz in humans, and Polamalus' mom had sex with a Samoan Great Dane dog. Since Polamalus head was shaved he was unable to cope with his newly found amazing Terrier breed like hearing. Distracted by his mamma in the 5th row chanting "if you dont stop Fitzgerald, you wont get yo' coconuts boy" Polamalu trips and blows the coverage resulting in a game winning TD toss. Needless to say. He wont get his coconuts.

This is the Verdict cause King Bond said so.

GIVE ME THE INGREDIENTS AND I'LL MAKE THE CAKE