Paperboy

Anyone remember playing Paperboy for the NES?



I actually always enjoyed the game, but I see it just won the #1 spot on a list of the Top 10 Worst NES Games. While I would actually argue that it should be included among the BEST NES games of all time, the review is actually hilarious. I have posted the entire thing below for your reading enjoyment:

Old-Wizard.com: When you first see this game, you see the cover with a happy-go-lucky paperboy delivering papers. You think to yourself, well, a game about being a paper boy can’t be that much fun…but maybe it’s some sort of super-hero paperboy and that’s the reason why he’s so happy on the front cover! The game is opposite of the cover. After you play this game for 10 minutes, you realize the front cover should be a paperboy irritable beyond all bounds and maybe even sticking his middle finger up at the street dancers who have nowhere to dance except right in the middle of the fucking street you have to deliver on.

It’s 8 o’ clock on a Monday morning and what does the entire neighborhood you deliver to do? They get up 2 hours early to conspire against you and make it impossible to get through half the street before you’re either run over, beat with a spatula, or have a myriad of dogs chasing you. If this game is going to be as difficult as it is, at least have an option of changing routes. At least be able to tell off your boss for giving you such a shitty route where you cant get half way down the street without your life being threatened with people who have nothing better to do than to try to dominate the paper boy. If they really don’t want their paper, then fuck them. Even if you’re able to evade the infinite obstacles towards delivering to 1 house, finding the accuracy to throw a paper into a mailbox is just as tendentious. Most of the time you lose points because your papers gravitate towards breaking the glass of the houses with people who spend their waking lives trying to destroy the paperboy.

This game is tedious, grossly difficult, and absolutely no fun. To rent a game and not be able to get half way through the first level no matter what you do is ridiculous to say the least. This may be the worst game ever released for a platform system.

The best part of that review? The sentence "the street dancers who have nowhere to dance except right in the middle of the fucking street you have to deliver on."

Tell me that doesn't sum up Paperboy!